Development and learning in Learning & Development.
The other day I was watching an episode of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” with my kids. I loved this program when I was kid and am glad that it is still around for streaming for my children to enjoy. The reduced pace and calmness of the program is a welcome change from the bright, flashy, fast, and loud kid programs today.
Today, arrogance and bullying are celebrated, as long as it is the main character. Insolence is a virtue, because grown-ups aren’t there to teach you and keep you safe- they are there to oppress you. And absolutely nothing bad ever happens that can’t be fixed in 5 minutes.
But today, I want to talk about winning…and losing. In this particular episode of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” his friend entered a baking competition. He tried his best and produced a nice cake. He wanted to win…really wanted it.
In today’s shows he would’ve won because winning is everything and makes you the best.
But in this show, he didn’t win.
He didn’t even place.
He didn’t even get honorable mention.
He was very sad. He wanted to win.
Mister Rogers took time to talk to his friend about the competition, how he felt not winning, and how he can still be proud of doing his best, and then practicing and trying again.
How many kids’ shows today have you seen the main character lose a competition- even when they are in an impossible situation.
We are being taught that other characters in our shows, and therefore in our lives, are the ones who need to lose graciously because the hero always wins, even with little practice. You want to do something? Just try really hard and you are an instant champion, or the best dancer or singer, or great at an instrument.
They don’t struggle.
We don’t see the countless hours of practice and failure and practice and success, and practice and mistakes, and so on.
We just see that they are perfect and win because they really want it.
Is it any wonder that kids, teens, and even adults can be insolent, mean, and terrible losers? When something gets hard, many just give up because that’s not how they’ve been conditioned.
Mister Rogers taught us differently.
Sometimes your best is not better than someone else’s best. But that is ok.
Sometimes all your planning and preparation doesn’t come to fruition. And that is also ok.
We learn from our failures and mistakes like we learn from our practice and wins.
What happens when this new mentality permeates colleges and businesses?
Knee-jerk reactionary students, teachers, managers, and “visionaries” that don’t understand why their plan didn’t net them an “A+”, “Teacher of the Year” award, that big sale, or a successful Q4.
But the biggest problem is that someone with this mentality is unlikely to honestly self-explore.
Mister Rogers likes you just the way you are. We should all like each other just the way we are. But he also gave a lot of encouragement to practice and enjoy, and fail and get better, and be happy for other’s success, and then celebrate your own when it comes.
We are too preoccupied with the negative view of failure.
The consequences from teachers, managers, and parents that are negative reinforcements and eventually lead learners to fear learning.
We are scared of making mistakes. Of disappointing ourselves and others. Or of taking too long to understand something.
That’s why so many online courses remain unfinished, and books stay unread. We’ve been conditioned to give up when it gets hard. Then we lash out at others. And then we justify our behavior because it is behavior seen in our "heroes".
So where does it start? With each of us as individuals.
If we don’t like something, we become better and then help others.
As parents, we can help our children understand the unhealthy obsession with “being the best”, and illogical situations where their favorite characters always come out on top regardless of the circumstances. We help them learn from inevitable failure. We help them celebrate their own and others’ success.
As teachers and trainers, we help our learners retain a love of learning and growth by keeping things practical and enjoyable as much as possible. Tie it to real world examples and show them how it works in real life. Gamification, storytelling, engagement, practical application, reinforcement and feedback, and practice are all great ways to re-introduce the love for learning and growth in individuals and organizations.
We all want to see why it matters, understand how we can apply it, and see the results.
This is a very simplified explanation and idea, of course. Every situation is different, and some will require more strategy than others. But my goal with this is to help us discuss where we are drifting and how we can introduce more real development and learning in learning and development.
