Embracing Failure as a Learning Opportunity
The other day I was watching an episode of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” with my kids. I loved this program when I was little and am glad that it is still around for streaming for my children to enjoy. The reduced pace and calmness of the program is a welcome change from the bright, flashy, fast, and loud kid programs today.
In today's media, arrogance and bullying are often celebrated…especially when they come from the main character. Insolence is treated as a virtue, not a flaw. Instead of guiding children, adults are portrayed as oppressive figures. And absolutely nothing bad ever happens that can’t be fixed in 5 minutes.
This shift in storytelling shapes a new understanding of success and failure. That brings me to today’s topic: winning and losing. In this particular episode of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” his friend entered a baking competition. He tried his best and produced a nice cake. He wanted to win…really wanted it.
In today’s shows he would’ve won because winning is everything and makes you the best.
But in this show, he didn’t win.
He didn’t even place.
He didn’t even get honorable mention.
He was very sad. He wanted to win.
Mister Rogers took time to talk to his friend about the competition, how he felt not winning, and how he can still be proud of doing his best and then practicing and trying again.
How many kids’ shows today have you seen the main character lose a competition- even when they are in an impossible situation.
We are being taught that other characters in our shows, and therefore in our lives, are the ones who need to lose graciously- and the main character needs to always win. You want to do something? Just try really hard and you are a champion.
They don’t struggle. We don’t see the countless hours of practice, the failures, the hard-earned successes, or the lessons learned from mistakes.
We just see that they win because they really want it.
Is it any wonder that kids, teens, and even adults can be insolent, mean, and sore losers? When something gets hard, many just give up because that’s not how they’ve been conditioned.
Mister Rogers taught us differently.
Sometimes your best is not better than someone else’s best. But that is ok.
Sometimes all your planning and preparation doesn’t come to fruition. And that is also ok.
We learn from our failures and mistakes like we learn from our practice and wins.
What happens when this new mentality permeates life and business?
Knee-jerk reactionary employees, managers, and “visionaries” that don’t understand why their plan didn’t net them an award, that big sale, or a successful Q4.
But the biggest problem is that someone with this mentality is unlikely to honestly self-explore in order to develop.
We are too preoccupied with the negative view of failure.
We are scared of making mistakes.
Of disappointing ourselves and others.
Of taking too long to understand something.
So, many online courses remain unfinished, and books stay unread.
We’ve been conditioned to give up when it gets hard.
So where does it start? With each of us as individuals.
If we don’t like something, we become better and then help others.
As parents, we can help our children understand the unhealthy obsession with “being the best”, and illogical situations where their favorite characters always come out on top regardless of the circumstances.
We help them learn from inevitable failure.
We help them celebrate their own and others’ success.
We help our learners retain a love of learning and growth by keeping things practical and enjoyable as much as possible. Tie it to real world examples and show them how it works in real life. Gamification, storytelling, engagement, practical application, reinforcement and feedback, and practice are all great ways to re-introduce the love for learning and growth in individuals and organizations.
We all want to see why it matters, understand how we can apply it, and see the results.
This is a very simplified explanation and idea, of course. Every situation is different, and some will require more strategy than others.
My goal is to spark a conversation about how we can bring real development back into learning—both in life and business. Where do you see this shift happening?
